Mid Life Crisis

It'll be another 20 years before most of our generation hits Mid Life Crisis but I'm sure most of you have come across this phenomena personally. Be it your father, your uncle, or your next door neighbour on pension.

People going through Mid Life Crisis tend to do silly things like jumping out of airplanes, driving around the world in a 4WD or buying a Honda Goldwing. If you are unfamiliar with what a Goldwing is, take a look.


It's the same all around the world. You must be Apeh to ride this bike.

It's quite like a car, but on two wheels. If Optimus Prime went for Lipo and did a Marie France, he'd end up looking like that.

Very much like how there is a minimum age requirement of 30 years old for aspiring Taxi drivers in Singapore, To ride a Goldwing, you should be at least 40 and above, have some sort of facial hair and some balding on the top would be recommended. Why would ahpeks want to buy this sort of thing? It costs nearly $20,000. For that amount, you can buy 18 Scramblers. On the road it occupies the same space a car does. It handles like an overweight motorcycle and when you crash it, it still rolls and flips and doesn't offer the rider much protection. Except for the airbag they installed in newer models. Yup, airbags. If the crash doesn't hurt you, the air bag will surely give you a good punch in the face.


They get pregnant too

So if you suspect that someone is going through a mid life crisis, look at his garage and all will be revealed.

Biggest Find of The Century

Alright, here's how it happened. While walking along some HDB flats, Pris and I stumbled on a few sheets of loose paper strewn on a grass patch. At first glance, this was what we saw.

Yes, all and well, a Primary 3 comprehension passage titled "Be Thankful"

But realising that there were some drawings behind this, we kicked it around to uncover what must have been the greatest find of the century. Greater than the Gospel Of Judas, The Bayeux Tapestry and all the stupid numbers in The Da Vinci Code combined. Be forewarned, that what will be revealed to you was prophesized by a child genius. Who, unfortunately, did not foresee a good rotan-ing from his mother.

Behold! The encrypted code of "Be Thankful" As found scrawled on the back of the paper.



What be this Doomsday Dragon!? "It Kills!" dammit! How do we stop this Doomsday Dragon? The child genius has written that "To awake it, USE Draco Beam of Moonstone Dracon" How bloody bewildering his message to the world is. After being depressed and on the verge of insanity for 32 days, I uncovered another piece of the puzzle. The child has scribbled his prophecy out in what seems to be a badly drawn comic.



Studies have shown that this was what the series of drawings say.

In the first panel, a black figure lures and corrupts a Chinese New Year Dragon with what seems to be licorice. The Doomsday dragon must have commited several atrocities. Such as putting little boys on top of mountains which they cannot come down from.

In the Second panel, The Moon beam draco saves the day by projecting forced vomit onto the sorcerer, causing him to spontaneously combust and sending his spirit out of the dragon. The Chinese New Year Dragon, freed from the licorice of corruption is content with staying there and smiling.

Finally, the end panel shows a happy boy being rewarded with a hoverboard very much like what Michael J Fox rode in "Back to the future". The Moonbeam Draco has a pokeball stuck to its tail.

There you have it. The works of a 9 year old child. From what I can see, his mother must have left him alone with some homework to do but he decided to reveal his Doomsday prophecy instead. The mother must have returned, slapped the child around like a ragdoll for a bit, tore the comprehension up and threw it out of the window. Which is why upon discovery, I decided to immortalise his works on the internet. where all will know that he got some cane marks for this drawing and that his mother is probably serving CWo if some neighbour reported her littering.

1 Vote take away

For the past few weeks, I thought I could vote because Bukit Panjang SMC was created for this GE. For weeks I tried to imagine how crossing the X would feel like.

Weeks later, I realise that my household is never going to get that GE notification slip for this GE and that Jelapang Road is, together with the enchanted forests and highways, situated somewhere within the recesses of Holland and Bukit Timah.

Who am I going to turn to if I want the empty square downstairs to be upgraded into a playground.