Ways to irritate your girlfriend

Today Pris was going through her old Girls' Brigade stuff. She was going on about how nostalgic she felt about her GB days when all of a sudden I started singing that particular Barbara Streisand song while looking from over her shoulder.

Me: Memories... from the corners of my mind... misty water coloured memories...

Girlfriend: Eh stop it lah. I'm going to cry.

In other news, girlfriend has finally decided that she should strive for a net gain in weight. This is coming from someone who once wanted to be 2D. I'm rather pleased, even though the target of reaching XX kg from XX kg is little. Very much like the Progress Package. Meager but better than nothing.

When Mascots attack

For the longest time, I've had the fascination of people dressed as mascots doing everyday things people do. What if a person was stuck in a mascot suit and had to live with it for the rest of his life? Will people see him as Lim Ah huat or will people see him as Charlie the Codfish?

Needless to say, Charlie the codfish has to eat, shit and earn money like everyone else. Also, Charlie the codfish has emotions of anger, jealousy, happiness, sadness and whatever else.

While having some thought about this scenario, I was notified by my girlfriend that a psycho suffering from manic depression had taken the liberty to send her lewd messages on her handphone. Now, this had been going on for pretty long and it was time to end his nonsense.

I was on the verge of teaming up with her dad to drive to school and break that bugger's legs in many places. But that wouldn't be very humiliating wouldn't it? 2 people beating the crap out of a skinny 33 year old psycho who for many reasons unknown is still studying in her school. Surely eye witnesses would identify me easily.

So I thought of a devious plan. I would leave such violent criminal acts to Charlie the codfish. What kind of psychological trauma would the lewd smser have if he was dragged by the hair onto the road and then pummeled by a giant rodent and a large chilli.





Would anyone call the police? Everyone will think it's a sideshow or something. "Eh look! Giant rodent and Chilli man are beating a man up! I never see a mouse and a chilli beat up a man before! I shall stand here and watch! and then I will remember the date and buy 4D!"

So really, if you still want to disturb ppl with your stupid crude and childish messages, don't regret it when one fine day, an assorted number of random mascots come along, drag you by the hair and beat the shit out of you. You have been warned.